Wait. What?
It took me some time (maybe more than it
should have), but I finally bought into the whole community is necessary, we
belong to each other way of thinking—hook, line, and sinker—so this passage
caught me off guard:
I
Thessalonians 4:9-12, “Now about your love for one another we do not need to
write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all of God’s family
throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and
more, and to make it your
ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with
your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily
life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on
anybody” (NIV).
The glaring question staring me in the face
is, “How do we love quietly?”
By nature, I’m kind of quiet (and everyone
who thinks they know me well collapses in a fit of hysterical laughter, because
I have, indeed, learned to adapt to my surroundings to be as loud as I need to
be in order to be heard… which… let me tell ya… is pretty terribly loud
sometimes).
I read an article the other day about my
personality type (see endnotes). The
entire article resonated, but this paragraph relates directly to what I’m
thinking about, today:
“INFJs are true introverts, yet
people not very close to them believe them to be extroverts. This happens
because INFJs can be social chameleons and have an innate ability to blend in
in any social setting. The INFJ can be the life of the party for a night or
two, showcasing their inviting nature and vivaciousness. However, this is never
prolonged because, in introverted-fashion, they lose energy from others. Those
close to an INFJ know that this type prefers bars over clubs and barbecues over
balls, and can give a speech to thousands of people but cringes at the idea of
mingling with the crowd afterward. Eventually, this type will need to retreat
home for some quiet time to ‘recharge their batteries,’ or they will become
very on-edge and exhausted.”[i]
This is so refreshing, because it is feels like permission
to be quiet. And for an introvert who
has been ‘talking’ (in one form or another) nearly nonstop for weeks on end
(maybe months); that’s a gift.
I joked with my latest podcast guest, before we began
recording, about how I needed to have some guiding questions for the program,
because otherwise I might allow silences to go on for several minutes, which would
be fine with me but probably quite uncomfortable for others. Then we laughed about how ridiculous this
would be for an audio show. Then we
recorded my longest podcast to date.
So, it’s not that I don’t have things to say (nobody is
surprised)… and it’s not that I’m unwilling to say them (again, I don’t hear
any gasping)… but I am, admittedly, a little on edge and so very, very
exhausted.
How can my daily life possibly be respectable when I am
stumbling through the morning hours, wondering why it has to be summertime when
the darkness takes so long to cover the tiring days during which there is so
much to say and so little time to process?
I’m absolutely looking for a rescue here… which feels pretty
dependent… although I have worked quite hard with my hands and have even
managed to mind my own business on a fairly regular basis, so maybe I just need
to rescue myself with some time for soul care in silence and solitude (It’s
been six months, so I am (over)due).
A quote I appreciate and have used on various occasions, but
which I cannot seem to find and source, right now, is this: “People who love one another can be silent
together.”
I’ve spent a lot of time, in recent days, thinking about how
loud love must be, but maybe it must also be quiet…
L.
[i]
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/life-infj-worlds-rarest-personality-type
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